


don't it feel fucked up we're not in love

by weddingbells



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Sex, Touring, cupid!louis, not an au, this is real life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-06 20:44:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weddingbells/pseuds/weddingbells
Summary: “You know who you should invite?” Louis says, a bit too loudly and Harry wraps both his arms around him as if to keep him seated there. “You know… hah, you know who you should invite?” Louis’ speech is slurred and Niall closes his eyes thinking here it comes, here comes another stupid idea.“You should invite Zayn!” Louis looks very pleased with his plan for a moment before he starts laughing. “Oh my god, please invite him Niall!”or the one in which zayn gets an invitation to niall's tour and niall isn't aware of it.





	don't it feel fucked up we're not in love

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Ziall fic with side-Larry and it's really something I wrote for fun after an idea I got! I might write another part of this, but for now this is what it is and I really really hope you will enjoy it x also buy Slow Hands and Dusk Till Dawn on itunes and all that.

It’s always when they get through the third bottle of wine and Louis had most of it, that things starts to happen. Niall should know it by now, but he was ready for just a relaxing night in good company and anyway, things happening doesn’t always have to be  _ negative _ .

“You know what Nialler…” Louis says, pointing drunkenly to Niall as Liam rolls his eyes. Liam, as always, doesn’t look like he’s even had one glass and it’s unfair. He doesn’t get hungover either, and the rare occasions he did get completely pissed, no one remembers how it happened. “You haven’t invited us to the start of your tour yet.”

Niall looks amused, he was pretty sure something else was going to be said.

“I thought you’d all be busy anyway,” he says softly, sipping his glass of wine while still looking at Louis. Louis laughs.

“Niall, we could never be too busy for you, could we?” his arm is wrapped around Harry’s neck and he is nuzzling against him. Harry is mindlessly running his finger over Louis’ thigh, Niall isn’t sure if it’s because he wants to do that or if it’s to keep Louis calm. Either way, it’s adorable enough to get Niall to want to puke. 

“I am,” Harry says suddenly, guilt washing over his face when he looks at Niall. “I have some promo for my tour…”

“It’s okay, Harry,” Niall waves it off as he gives him a warm smile. He moves a bit on the sofa, curling up with his feet tucked under his body. “I figured it was so, and it’s fine.”

“I might be able to be there,” Liam says and nudges Niall’s hand. “If you want me to. Or will you be nervous knowing I’ll be commenting on everything I think you’re doing wrong?”

He grins playfully and Niall tosses a pillow at him.

“Wanker.”

“You know who you should invite?” Louis says, a bit too loudly and Harry wraps both his arms around him as if to keep him seated there. “You know… hah, you know who you should invite?” Louis’ speech is slurred and Niall closes his eyes thinking  _ here it comes _ , here comes another stupid idea.

“You should invite Zayn!” Louis looks very pleased with his plan for a moment before he starts laughing. “Oh my god, please invite him Niall!”

Niall doesn’t laugh, the corner of his mouth drops and he looks away.

“I don’t think so.”

“Niall’s got a crush on Zaynie,” Louis whispers in Harry’s ear and Niall grunts.

“I do not have a crush on Zayn.”

“You do too!” Louis giggles and Harry shushes him. He ignores it. “You think he’s beautiful with all his tattoos, the dark hair, golden eyes and how much of an artist he is…”

“Wow, Tommo, starting to think _ you’re _ the one with a crush on Zayn,” Niall says poisonously and Louis giggles as Harry possessively wraps his arms even tighter around him. 

“No he doesn’t.”

“I’m not inviting Zayn, he’s made it pretty clear he wants nothing to do with us don’t you think?” Niall says, glancing over to Liam that shrugs. “Okay,  _ most _ of us.”

Louis pouts.

“Come on Niall, have some more wine and you’ll think it’s a great idea! You know wine turns you a bit gay, right?”

Harry puts a hand over Louis’ mouth.

“Okay sunshine, you’ve had a bit too much,” Harry mumbles and then gives Niall a look that says I’m sorry. “We should go home.”

“Me too,” Liam says, standing up to give Niall a hug. “But we’ll talk soon okay? This was nice, like old times.”

“I’m telling you Niall, invite him!” Louis says as he walks out the door, giving Niall a kiss on the cheek. “You won’t regret it.”

Niall rolls his eyes.

“Good night, Lou.”

 

\--

 

When the first show is closing in, Niall is feeling more and more nervous. He’s performed before by himself, but this is the first time there is an actual show with just his name on it, an actual show with just his music and no one else to lean on. He keeps looking over his shoulder to see if the others will show up but they’re not. He sighs instead, splashing his face with some water. He can do this.

“Niall, 2 minutes until we start!” the tour manager calls out and Niall nods, taking his guitar and smiling encouragingly to himself in the mirror. Then he steps out.

 

The cheers, that’s something Niall will never get used to, and the fact that it’s filled with people that are there only for him makes him almost tear up a little bit. He clears his throat though, because he doesn’t want to choke already, and strums a chord on his guitar.

“Hello,” he says with a shy smile, the cheers getting louder. “I’m Niall, let’s play…”

He stops, because as his eyes scan the audience there is something, someone up on the balcony that catches his attention. Niall swallows, feeling his mind go blank because what  _ the fuck _ , is that  **_Zayn_ ** ?

It is, it is Zayn and he looks absolutely gorgeous which is nothing new, but he is  _ here _ which is very new because Niall hasn’t spoken to him for years, not since he left the band and everything got fucked up.

_ Why is Zayn here? _

As if to make matters worse, Zayn lifts his hand to do a little wave, before he gives Niall one of those famous half-smiles and Niall needs to look the other way because he is going to faint. His band looks at him confused, and Niall coughs a little.

“Sorry, sorry, is it hot in here?” he asks, causing the audience to laugh. He can do this, he needs to. “We’re here to play some songs for you and I hope you’ll enjoy them, this is The Tide.”

 

It’s because of that rush of adrenaline he always gets when he performs, that he makes it through the set without any awkward things happening. He looks up to Zayn now and then, one time Zayn is on his phone which makes Niall worried maybe he isn’t enjoying this that much (not that he cares about Zayn thinks, only maybe a little) but the other time Zayn is watching him with sparkles in his eyes and that’s better. 

Niall drinks half a bottle of water, and only has time to nervously wonder if Zayn left or if he’s sticking around when the door opens and his tour manager walks in. 

“Hey Niall, got a visitor, it’s okay?”

Niall is about to ask who, but he notices Zayn behind him, there is no way he’d miss those cheekbones and Niall nods without even thinking about it. 

“Yeah, uhm… yeah,” he says foolishly, a blush spreading on his cheeks and he wonders why he is getting this ridiculous. 

Then Zayn enters the room and Niall suddenly blushes even harder as he tries to look casual about it.

“Hey,” Zayn says and it’s one word, one little word, and Niall feels like he’s coming home. Zayn’s accent is still thick, and his voice is still deep and makes his legs turn to jelly. He had thought that would have changed by now. Clearly not.

“Hi,” he mumbles, nervously looking up at Zayn. 

“Your set was amazing,” Zayn continues, and he moves a bit shyly in the room, as if he knows this is a place he really doesn’t belong in anymore. “I’m happy you asked me to come.”

“Me…  _ huh _ ?” Niall asks, looking confused as Zayn says that, and shakes his head. “Wait…”

“I mean I was a bit surprised, not gonna lie,” Zayn lets out a little laugh as he shakes his head and looks at Niall. “I mean, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me but then I… got your text and well… it was nice.”

Niall stares. Zayn gives him a smile.

“I’m sorry when you got my…”

“I was a bit nervous first, you looked like you’d seen a ghost or summat,” Zayn continues with another low chuckle. “Like as if you had no clue I was going to be here and…” Zayn stops for a moment, as if he is now for the first time seeing that Niall isn’t really following this. “Which… uh… you kinda look confused… wait, did you not know I was coming?”

Niall wonders if he should lie and say that of course he knew, and of course he had invited him but Niall knows he is a shit liar and he shakes his head.

“Uh… no, I didn’t.”

“Oh,” Zayn says, and suddenly a faint blush spreads on his cheeks. “You… wow, okay, this is awkward,” Zayn laughs nervously as he runs his fingers through his hair. It’s shorter than when he left the band, and Niall knows he’s even shaved it all off at one point, but it’s still such a change. “I just got a text and…”

Niall groaned, suddenly realising who the culprit is behind all this.

“Louis,” he sighs and shakes his head as he looks at Zayn. “He probably did this, he seems to think that I…” he pauses, realising that he can’t very well tell Zayn all the things Louis seems to think that Niall feels, and bites his lip. “Uh, nevermind. I’m uh…”

“I should go then, I mean, I don’t want to be in the way,” Zayn says quietly and Niall is realising just how rude he must come off as. He shakes his head quickly as he grabs Zayn’s arm.

“No, Zayn, this wasn’t… I mean even if it wasn’t me inviting you I really… appreciate you coming,” he said, giving Zayn a soft smile. “I didn’t think you would, even if I invited you to be honest so… this is a nice surprise.”

He hopes he isn’t blushing but he is pretty sure he is. 

Zayn’s face lights up, the way it did around Niall the first years in the band, a smile Niall has missed more than he wanted to admit. 

“Good,” Zayn says and then he is quiet, and Niall is quiet, and he worries that maybe this is getting more awkward than anything else. Niall clears his throat.

“You uhm, wanna go grab something to eat?” he asks instead, ignoring the fact that his phone is buzzing with his bandmates wanting him to go out with them. They have a whole tour they can celebrate this, they can wait. Zayn will for sure not come to any other shows. 

Zayn seems to notice Niall’s phone buzzin’ too, so he arches an eyebrow as he looks at him.

“Are you sure you don’t have other plans? Because your phone seems to think you do.”

“Eh, it’s nothing,” Niall says quickly. “I have… Harry on tweet notifications.”

Zayn’s eyebrow go even higher at that and Niall wishes he could kick himself.

“Harry rarely tweets,” he tells him and Niall bites his lip.

“Uhm, yeah I know, it’s uhm, I mean, a fan account and all that.”

Both eyebrows arches now.

“You… have a Harry fan account on tweet notifications?”

“A lot has changed since you left the band,” he tells him as he grabs his hat and jacket, making sure the last of his things are packed so his team can get them on the bus. “You still like pizza?”

 

\--

 

They find a pizza place outside the town centre, Niall has only been there once but he likes the way it looks, the pizza crust and the amount of cheese they have so he thinks it’s a good suggestion. Also, and that’s not a reason he gives Zayn when they are in the taxi on their way there, it’s often quiet and private, which means hopefully no one will bother them. 

“If I pick the wine, you can pick the pizza,” Zayn says with a smile as they sit down, a waiter waiting for their orders. “Make me proud.”

“You let me handle some pretty big stuff here,” Niall jokes, but he soon decides on one big pizza for them to share, with three kinds of cheese together with onions and mushrooms, and Zayn picks a red wine the waiter absolutely recommends them. Niall watches as the waiter flirts a bit with Zayn, and how Zayn happily flirts back and it makes him a little jealous.

“Wow, that guy’s got some nerves,” he comments when the waiter has left, and Zayn lets out a giggle.

“What, that he flirted a bit?”

“Well a lot,” Niall corrects him. “He should be doing his job and all that.”

“Are you jealous?” Zayn wiggles his eyebrows playfully and Niall wonders how this is so simple with Zayn, how being back with him even for an hour makes it feel as if no time has passed since he saw him last.

“ _ No _ ,” Niall says as he rolls his eyes, grabbing a piece of bread from the basket between us. “I just think he should focus on getting us our food, I get cranky when I’m hungry.”

Zayn still looks amused and as if he doesn’t believe what Niall is saying, which makes Niall wants to ask a lot of questions he doesn’t want to ask. Would it be normal of Niall to be jealous in a situation like that? What would Zayn say if he was?

Niall’s head feels like it’s spinning and it’s probably good that the waiter brings their wine to them so he can sip the red liquid and focus on that instead of Zayn’s everything. The waiter doesn’t flirt this time, and Zayn raises his glass.

“Cheers, to a brilliant solo tour,” Zayn says, clinking his glass against Niall and it’s so sweet Niall feels like everything in the world is soft. 

“I’ve only had one show,” Niall says shyly and Zayn shakes his head.

“I know it will be great, trust me. I know good talent.”

Niall smiles and he doesn’t say anything, just nods as he agrees and thinks that Zayn is really rather lovely, and then their pizza gets there.

 

They eat, talk about everything and Zayn takes stupid pictures of Niall when he tries to eat an extra cheesy slice, and then threatens to upload it to instagram to make fun of him and Niall has to rush over to his side of the table and hold his arms as they both laugh so hard Niall has trouble remembering when the last time was he laughed like this. 

The restaurant are probably a bit happy when they leave, and Niall gives an extra large tip just because he is very happy when they walk out.

 

The air is cool, not chilly, just a nice change from the warm restaurant. Zayn fishes into his pocket for a cigarette and lights it up, taking a drag and blowing out smoke and Niall remembers just how sexy he always thought that was, and feels something in his stomach that he wishes he didn’t.

“This was nice,” Zayn says, and then points to his cigarette. “I was gonna offer, but I don’t think you…”

Niall shakes his head.

“No, I don’t… I mean I don’t smoke. Not  _ No _ that this wasn’t nice. Because it was. I had fun,” Niall is blabbering, and then before he can stop himself he adds. “I kinda missed you.”

Zayn smiles softly. He doesn’t speak for a moment and Niall worries that maybe that was too much, but then Zayn nods.

“I missed you too. I thought about calling but… I didn’t want to overstep. I figured you needed… space,” he mumbles. “You wanna take a walk?”

Niall feels his face get flushing red, and he isn’t sure why. The idea of Zayn missing him was just not something he had ever imagined. He is happy Zayn asks if he wants to take a walk because that is something he can do.

“Yeah, yeah let’s,” he says, and they start walking down the street. No one really asks where they are going or seem to know, but it doesn’t really matter. 

“I wanted to call,” Niall says finally, when it’s been quiet for too long. “I just… it was complicated, you know? You leaving was… it was a lot.”

Zayn drops his cigarette to the ground and stomps on it, before he keeps walking next to Niall.

“I know,” he murmurs and he glances over at Niall. “I figured it was… so I kept my distance. Perhaps a bit too much.”

“It’s okay,” Niall mumbles and he doesn’t stop looking at Zayn. Sooner or later he will probably trip over his own feet and make an even bigger fool of himself but that is something he will deal with then. “You came to my show. No one else did. I mean of the boys,” he adds and then grins a bit as Zayn laughs.

“Louis told me he had to get a haircut and I’m starting to think maybe he wanted me to be the only one there,” Zayn says after a bit and Niall bites his lip. 

“Really?”

“Mhm…” Zayn says, and then they both speak at the same time.

“Niall,”

“Zayn…”

Zayn laughs. They have stopped walking now, just under a big tree and Niall can see stars in the corner of his eye.

“You go first,” Zayn’s voice is soft as Niall takes a deep breath.

“When I… shit, I don’t know,” Niall mutters and shakes his head. “When I saw you out there in the crowd I thought… I thought I was going to faint. You’re… there’s something about you, you know? Always has been.”

“What, that I’m pretty weird and broody?” Zayn asks with a chuckle and Niall has to roll his eyes.

“No idiot. I just… ever since in the band… it’s different, isn’t it? The way I… I mean, did you ever see that maybe I… stared at you a little extra?” Niall’s heart is beating fast and he isn’t sure why he is admitting to all these things now, but he has been hiding them for so long. Tried to cover it up and now, it’s all just falling.

Zayn’s smile is fond.

“Maybe, a little. Did you notice I stared back?”

“I knew you could tell… wait what?” Niall asks, and then shakes his head as if he didn’t hear it. “What?”

“I stared back,” Zayn repeats. “You were… I mean, special.”

“Bloody hell,” Niall says because it’s the only thing he can think of when Zayn takes a step closer to him. 

“I kinda wanna kiss you,” Zayn whispers.

“It’s the gay wine,” Niall whispers back before he can stop himself, and Zayn’s eyebrow rises and he looks puzzled.

“Gay wine?” he asks, an amused smile spreading on his lips. 

“Well, Louis said that…” Niall grunts, because why is he talking about Louis when Zayn Malik just said he wants to kiss him. “Nevermind.”

“So…” Zayn licks his lips as his eyes wander from Niall’s eyes to his lips and then back again. “May I?”

Niall’s thoughts are a mess, and he isn’t sure there even are any, his head is all over the place when Zayn leans in closer and closer, so close Niall can feel his breath and smell the tobacco. He is still waiting for permission though and Niall thinks, for a second, before he nods. 

Their kiss isn’t like one in the movies, it’s better. Zayn’s lips moves carefully against Niall’s own, slowly finding their way before the kiss deepens and Niall lets his lips part to invite Zayn’s tongue inside. Zayn tastes like wine, he tastes like cigarettes and he tastes like Zayn, and Niall isn’t sure how to describe it but he does, and when Zayn’s arms wrap around his waist to pull him closer Niall follows, easily. He wraps his arms around Zayn’s neck and kisses him back with everything in him, everything he’s been feeling for the last few years pouring out.

He hasn’t kissed many boys, but he is fairly certain that there is no boy that kisses like Zayn. No girl either, that’s for sure, and Niall feels a tingle going through his lips each time Zayn moves his tongue in a new direction, each time their lips touch again. Zayn kisses as if this is the best thing in the world he could be doing, and Niall can’t believe he’s finally doing it with him. 

It’s been years. Years pining, years hiding, years of ‘ _ what if’s’ _ and ‘ _ what could have been’s _ ’ and right now everything feels like it’s falling into place when Zayn is there. When Zayn pulls away it’s just a few inches, and he watches Niall through half closed eyes with a soft smile that Niall can feel when he kisses him again, and again, as if he is oxygen to him. 

“Where are you staying?” Zayn mumbles as he brushes his thumb over Niall’s side. It should tickle but it doesn’t, and even if it did Niall wouldn’t pull away from him. 

All that it does, is to make Niall’s heart beat even faster when he realises what Zayn is asking, what he is suggesting.

“Uh…” he mumbles and can’t find the words. “I…”

Zayn quickly shakes his head.

“I’m not… I’m not saying we have to, do anything…” he quickly says. “I just… if we…”

“Hotel back in town,” Niall mumbles, finding the words as he kisses Zayn again, because he doesn’t want him to question anything and really, seize the moment, Niall thinks to himself. Everything tonight feels like a dream and those doesn’t come true very often. Considering he already got a big break with his career, he doesn’t want to risk it with this now. “We can get a taxi.”

Zayn nods, and grabs Niall’s hand as he pulls him with him. It’s unreal.

 

\--

 

They don’t touch in the taxi, and not in the lobby, and even if Niall doesn’t want to they decide to walk in at different times, to not start speculation. Niall goes first, and the minutes he has to wait in his hotel room for Zayn to get there are the longest minutes of his life. Maybe he changed his mind. Maybe he got nervous. Maybe he realised he could do better for a Saturday night than hooking up with Niall, and just left. Niall is pacing back and forth about to just give up when he hears the knock on the door.

He opens it quickly and the relief must be seen on his face because Zayn grins as he walks inside and the door close behind him.

“Did you think I’d bail?”

“Maybe,” Niall admits. Zayn grins.

“Nope, I’d never.”

“You did bail on the band" Niall reminds him and Zayn rolls his eyes before chuckling. 

“Very funny. Kiss me.”

Niall doesn’t have to be told twice. He jumps at Zayn, Zayn meeting him half way and their kiss now is different, their kiss now is dripping with need and other things Niall has been trying to ignore for years. Zayn wraps his arms around Niall and they fall back onto the bed and Niall wonders if maybe, maybe he should give Zayn a hint that when it comes to boys he is not really that experienced, but he is lost in the way Zayn kisses. His hands seems to go everywhere at once, and he kisses as if he wants Niall just as badly as Niall wants him and it’s unreal, it’s out of this world, Niall must be dreaming.

Zayn slips his hand under Niall’s shirt, touches the skin carefully as if Niall is made of glass and Niall tilts his head back, letting out a soft moan that causes Zayn to grin, and kiss down his neck instead. 

“Is this… okay?” Zayn whispers, his hand running dangerously near Niall’s nipples. “That we’re doing… this?”

Part of Niall wants to ask exactly what this is, because he wonders, wonders if Zayn thinks like he does, if Zayn’s been missing him just as much, and he wonders if this is just to get it out of their system before they move on, but he is scared to. Instead he just nods, thinking that everything will be okay, finally, and Zayn pinches his right nipple between his fingers.

“Fuck,” Niall gasps out, he’s always been so sensitive there and the boys used to mess with him about it, but they have never touched him like Zayn is touching him right now, and it’s an overwhelming feeling. “Shit.”

His hands go to Zayn’s back, running down until he can tug at the bottom of Zayn’s shirt to try to get it off. Zayn helps, pulling away grinning to let it go over his head and fall to the floor. Niall is impressed with his own courage for a moment, and then his mouth goes absolutely dry at the sight at how gorgeous Zayn is without a shirt on. This close to him. On top of him.

Niall traces the ink with his fingertips for a good moment, not doing anything but that. He’s got new ink, some of the old tattoos are covered but his favourites are there; the tiger, the chest piece with the lips. It feels good, and Niall leans in to press a kiss to the wings, causing Zayn to give out a little moan that only spurs Niall on further. Then Zayn’s long fingers work his buttons, and Niall lets out a shaky breath when his shirt falls open, and he wonders if Zayn is gonna be disappointed, because there is no way Niall can look good enough for someone like Zayn. But Zayn pauses, and his eyes widens and then he lets out another moan.

“You’re gorgeous,” Zayn mutters and Niall feels his heart do a flip worthy of an olympic gold medal. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

He lowers his head and kisses Niall’s chest, lips slowly working their way lower and Niall’s hips buck at their own accord, his back arches and he runs a hand over his face because shit, Zayn isn’t actually trying to…

Zayn’s fingers pop the button off his jeans and Niall stops thinking. All he can think is  _ ZaynZaynZayn  _ and it only gets even worse when Zayn’s hand cups him through his jeans. Niall is already half hard, and now it’s getting worse, and this seems to please Zayn greatly. Niall is a bit scared to meet his eyes but then he does, and Zayn’s pupils are blown as he meets Niall’s eyes, still palming him through his jeans.

“If it’s too…”

“Fuck, do it,” Niall gasps, and Zayn smirks at that.

It’s been forever since Niall had a blowjob, at least one where he is completely sober and the one giving him it is someone he actually cares for. But Niall is pretty sure he has never wanted a blowjob this bad before. Zayn’s lips are plump, slightly swollen from their kisses and his soft, pink tongue trails them and Niall feels his heartbeat rise even more when Zayn’s starts tugging at his jeans to pull them down. Niall lifts his bum, helping him and then finally, finally, Zayn’s hand reaches into his boxers and takes him out.

Niall is so hard, so hard he is almost in pain and it only gets worse when Zayn looks at him like that, as if this is the best thing he has ever seen.

“Hello, pretty,” Zayn murmurs, his voice low and seductive and Niall can’t keep his eyes open, the sight in front of him is just too much. He flings his right arm over his eyes, taking deep breaths when he feels Zayn moving above him.

“Sh-shit…”

“I’m gonna take care of you,” Zayn’s voice is a purr now, and then Niall glances down just as Zayn grips hold of the base of his cock, slowly letting his tongue trace the slit, the head, before he parts his lips wide and swallows Niall down completely.

Niall thinks he’s going to black out.

Zayn’s mouth is warm, wet, it’s welcoming, and Niall tries hard to not start thrusting into his mouth just to get more, but it’s so hard. He can feel Zayn, his tongue is swirling around, it licks the underside of his cock and there is only the slight hint of teeth, scraping over the sensitive skin and it drives Niall insane. He wonders how Zayn knows how to do this, if he is just generally good at this or if he has some way to see just what it is Niall needs, but either way it’s making him feel everything at once and shit.

“Z-zayn…” Niall whimpers, gripping the sheets and his toes curl as Zayn takes him a little bit deeper. “S-shit… fuck…”

Zayn hums around Niall’s cock, not really making matters better and Niall can’t help but feel like this is it, he will come right here, right now, within minutes of a first blowjob from Zayn and he will look like a fool. He doesn’t want this to stop, so he tries to think of other things to turn him off a bit, which isn’t easy. Not when Zayn is sucking him off. Not when Niall can reach out and run his fingers through that hair, feel him close.

Then Zayn hums around his cock again, along with digging his fingers into the skin above his hip, and his other hand plays with his balls and Niall can’t hold it in.

When he comes, it’s with a cry, Zayn’s name combined with some other words he doesn’t know if they are actual words and his whole body is shaking. 

Zayn swallows his cum down because of course, of course he would be one to do that and then he grins when he moves up Niall’s body again, kissing him softly.

He tastes like Niall’s cum, clearly, and maybe it should be weird but it’s not, and Niall feels as if his whole body is butter underneath his touch.

“I take that as you enjoying it,” Zayn murmurs against his lips, Niall can feel him smiling, and he only has energy to nod.

“Mhm…”

Zayn kisses him again. Niall thinks half a thought that he need to give back as good as he got, and wonders if he will ever be able to, but then everything washing over him, from the emotional first show to having Zayn, causes him to only see black and Niall isn’t sure what he says or does before he drifts off to sleep.

 

\--

 

When he wakes up, it’s because the room is flooded with light and his phone is buzzing annoyingly. He struggles as he opens his eyes, feeling the pain when they are exposed to sudden sunlight, but then they widens as he remembers that shit, he was with Zayn last night and shit, he fell asleep. He fell fucking asleep.

He looks around but there is no sight of Zayn, nothing to prove last night actually happened apart from the fact that Niall is half undressed and smells like a cologne that isn’t his own. Part of that is reassuring to him, but he also wonders where Zayn is and when he took off and if it was the last he would see of him.

His phone doesn’t give up though, it buzzes and buzzes and finally Niall grabs it, swiping to the right before even checking who it is.

“What?”

“Well good morning sunshine!” he hears Louis’ voice in the other end and Niall rolls his eyes.

“Hi, Lou.”

“Did you have a fun show last night?” Louis asks, and Niall can tell he is trying his best to sound as if this is just a normal call, but Niall can tell he is fishing for information on if Zayn showed up or not. 

“Yes, it was great!” Niall tells him, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of gloating over this, and he also looks at the time and realises that shit, he is supposed to be on a flight soon. Pressing his phone between his cheek and shoulder, he tries to get dressed as quickly as he can, in the end looking more wrinkly than when he started but it will do. 

“Great?” Louis sounds as if that isn’t enough, and Niall can’t help but smirk. “Were there any… special people there?”

“All the fans are special to me, Tommo,” Niall tells him sweetly as he shuts his suitcase and takes a look around the room. Part of him wants to see if Zayn left something, a note or anything but there’s nothing. He tries to not freak out about it and think that yep, that was that, he’s not seeing that man again. 

“Niall!” Louis says, clearly frustrated now. He never really was good at being anything but eager for what he wanted to hear. “Was Zayn there?”

Niall pauses, and thinks, and then.

“Nope,” he says innocently, jumping into his shoes to leave the hotel room. He can hear Louis curse in the phone when he leaves his keycard to the hotel reception. 

“What do you mean? He was there, wasn’t it? He said he…” Louis pauses, realising that maybe he was saying too much and it makes Niall smirk.

“What was that, Lou? Could it be that maybe you, against my will, invited Zayn to my first show?”

“Did he show up?” It’s Harry now, joining the conversation and Niall rolls his eyes as he listens to both of them. They talk over each other, as always, and Niall wonders if anyone is saying anything he can reply too but then he just decides to be honest.

“Yeah… yeah, he showed up.”

Louis lets out a cheerful shout as he hears that, and Harry is sighing happily.

“Oh Nialler, I knew he would so, what happened? Did anything happen? Did he like your songs about him?”

Niall turns flushing red, and he’s happy they can’t see him.

“My songs are not about Zayn!”

He can practically hear Louis and Harry giving each other a knowing look.

“ **_Too Much To Ask_ ** is about him mate, no denying it,” Louis says, pleased with himself. “But forget that, what happened?”

“Louis!” Niall hisses, but then he sighs because when was he ever good at keeping things from the others? “It was… nice, we had pizza and wine.”

“Pizza and wine,” Harry sighs happily again. “Do you remember when we had pizza and wine on our dates, Louis?”

“Yes darling, and you complained about empty calories,” Louis teases, and then Niall hears a smacking sound and he grimaces.

“I’m not listening to you making out.”

“We’re not, we’re not, we’re here!” Louis says quickly. “Tell me about the pizza, and the wine, and the fact that this is very obviously a bloody date mate!”

Niall is waving for a taxi now, and he waits until he is seated and has told the driver to take him to the airport, before he replies to Louis.

“It was not a date,” he tells him, even if his heart flutters a bit at the thought of it. “We had wine and pizza and then we took a walk and…”

“And…?” Louis asks as Harry adds in. “Niall just tell us!”

Niall sighs.

“And then we, uhm… I guess we kissed a little bit.”

There is a pleased, loud noise coming from the other end of the line, Harry sounds like a happy hippo as Louis just laughs.

“I told you mate, I fuckin’ told ya didn’t I?” Louis laughs, and Niall can’t help but smile as well. “And, and? Don’t leave me hangin’ here mate, I’m sure that wasn’t all.”

“He went back to the hotel with me.”

“He went back to the hotel with you,” Harry squeals as Louis is laughing even louder. Niall is a bit worried the taxi driver will comment on any of this, but thankfully he seems to only be focused on avoiding traffic.

“Did you fuck?” Louis asks and Niall rolls his eyes, always had his way with words.

“We… uhm… he kind of…” Niall lowers his voice to not be very open about his sex life with a random taxi driver. “Sucked me off.”

“He sucked you off!” Louis screams, which is probably heard across the globe and Niall panics.

“Hush, Louis, I’m in a taxi!”

“Was it good?” Harry asks softly. “Did you like it? Did you fall asleep together after multiple, very well deserved orgasms?”

Niall is quiet.

“Ni?” Louis asks, and Niall grunts.

“I’m, uh… I kinda… came in his mouth and then we kissed and then I… fell asleep.”

For the first time since this call started Harry and Louis are both quiet. 

“You still there?” Niall asks, finally and he hears Harry clears his throat.

“Well, that happens, you were tired darling,” Harry says softly. “Did you talk about in the morning?”

“Uhm no he… took off,” Niall whispers and suddenly everything feels absolute shit. 

“Aw, Niall…” Louis says, and Niall kind of wants to just ask them to come to him.

“Yeah,” he tries to laugh, but it gets stuck in his throat. “Not that impressive, huh? I mean… I fucked that up basically before anything even happen.”

“No, no, don’t say that,” Harry softly calms him. “Niall, he came to your show, because he wanted to, and he knows all about how exhausting touring his, he understands. He is probably just giving you space.”

“Yeah, exactly!” Louis agrees. “I bet he’s already texted you.”

“No, he hasn’t.”

“... well I’m sure he will,” Louis says encouragingly. “Now come on Nialler, get some food in you and you’ll feel normal again, when is your flight leaving?”

Niall looks at his watch.

“About 90 minutes.”

“I bet he will call you before you leave, love,” Louis’ voice is warm and caring. “Get a breakfast pint, you’ve earned it.”

“Thanks,” Niall forces a smile.

“We love you Niall!” Harry says, and Louis hums in agreement.

“I love you guys too,” Niall says, and then he hangs up. 

He isn’t sure it will be okay, but at least he can get some breakfast.

 

\--

 

The airport has a nice Wetherspoons and Niall sits down, pushing his hat down so he won’t be noticed and orders the big breakfast and a pint, making sure he isn’t getting too lost in his own thoughts as he waits for the call to his flight. He is halfway through the breakfast and almost finished with the pint, when he can feel someone walk up to him. He braces himself for the questions for a picture, when it’s not the question that comes.

“Is this seat taken?”

Niall looks up and his eyes widen when he sees that Zayn is standing next to him. He clears his throat, shaking his head and wonders why he seems to forget the English language when Zayn is around.

“No, no it’s… no,” he mumbles and Zayn sits down and puts one knee over the other. Niall waits for him to say something, but Zayn seems to be extra quiet today.

“I’m sorry I didn’t left a note,” Zayn says, finally and smiles softly. “I kind of didn’t know what to write and… you know.”

“I’m sorry I fell asleep,” Niall interrupts, and then he blushes, which makes Zayn smile more.

“Only a light blow to my ego,” Zayn teases as he nudges Niall’s side, and suddenly everything Niall had been worried about seems to disappear out the window.

“That wasn’t…” Niall starts, and Zayn puts his hand on his and Niall suddenly forgets all words again.

“I know,” Zayn says softly. “I know. I remember how it is.”

“How did you know I was here?” Niall asks, looking around the entry hall. Zayn shrugs.

“Lucky guess?”

Niall stares.

“Fine, so Louis told me,” Zayn admits and Niall can’t help but roll his eyes.

“He can’t stay out of others business.”

“Kind of happy about that though,” Zayn says and looks at Niall with gorgeous eyes that should be against the law to have. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Niall echoes. “I… last night was… I mean it was… great.”

Zayn smiles softly.

“I thought so too. I’ve been… waiting for that to happen. I was just afraid to make a move in the band and then I left and I figured… it was easier to just move on.”

Niall nods, not because he agrees, but because he isn’t sure what else to do.

“Is it?” he asks, clearing his throat. “Easier?”

Zayn shakes his head.

“No,” he whispers. “It kind of sucks not being with you.”

Niall could cry. 

“I… think so too. I kind of… a few of my songs?” he whispers back. “They’re about you.”

Zayn’s smile gets softer at that.

“Mine too… about you, I mean.”

Niall is pretty sure he is going to faint now. There is no way this is happening, no way. 

“Do you maybe want to have coffee sometime?” Zayn asks, and okay, Niall thinks this is it, now he’s going to die, not just faint.. 

“Coffee?” he asks, and Zayn nods with a grin.

“Yeah, you know…” he says, clearly amused. “That black, caffeinated liquid so many of us seems to be addicted to.”

Niall playfully slaps him.

“I know what it is, idiot. Are you sure you want to have coffee with me?”

Zayn shrugs.

“I mean I could ask someone else, if you’re this against it…”

Niall shakes his head quickly.

“No, don’t do that.”

A smile spreads on Zayn’s lips. It’s one of the best smiles Niall has ever seen.

“Good, because I don’t really know any other guys that are as cute as you are,” Zayn says as if this is the easiest thing in the world to admit it. Niall isn’t sure how he does that. But it makes him weak in the knees and feel a tiny bit in love, which is a new feeling altogether. 

“Do you have any plans to the next of the week?” Niall asks, and Zayn looks confused.

“Uhm, not really?”

“Do you… and please, I know this is crazy so feel free to say no but… do you maybe wanna follow me on tour for a few days?” Niall blushes as he asks because god, he is stupid. No way that Zayn would agree to that.

Zayn smiles softly.

“Uhm…”

“Really, if you don’t want to I fully understand, it was a stupid…”

“Do they serve coffee on the plane?” Zayn asks and Niall’s heart beat faster again. “Because…”

“Yes, yes they do.”

“Well then,” Zayn’s smile is wide now. “I did ask if you want to have coffee and why not on a plane? I’ll come with you.”

“You’re insane,” Niall says, and he is so fond of this man he isn’t quite sure how to deal with it. 

“No, I’m Zayn,” Zayn jokes with a big grin and Niall has to roll his eyes because god.

“Okay, now I’m regretting asking you to come.”

“Too late,” Zayn whispers, and then he leans in and kisses Niall softly and wow.

 

He could write an entire album about that kiss alone.

**Author's Note:**

> rainbowpinharry @ tumblr and twitter x


End file.
